The many advantages of adopting an attitude of appreciation

Imagine there are two women, Mona and Greta, who are of the same age and work in the same company and you ask them both how their day has gone. Mona tells you that her day was dreadful and then proceeds to report that she missed her train, was late for work, had to give a really stressful presentation in the morning, had a boring afternoon that dragged on and after her evening meal she ended up staying in as her date had cancelled their plans for the evening. Greta’s story of her day is quite different. She reports that she had a really interesting conversation with a woman at the station over coffee whilst waiting for the train, that her presentation at work was received very well and that she was grateful to her supportive colleagues, she enjoyed an afternoon of easy-time at work enabling her to get smaller jobs out of the way and enjoy the company of her colleagues further. She also mentioned that she had a delicious home-made fish pie for supper and although her date had cancelled the evening plans she was grateful to have the time to herself to relax at home and watch a film. You probably will have realised that Mona and Greta are really the same person who experienced the same events. The only difference is that Mona’s perception is on the things that went wrong or were unpleasant, whereas Greta has focused on the opportunities that arose from the day’s challenges.

Research has shown us that counting our blessings and being grateful for the small things in our daily lives makes us happier people. Focusing on the positive is bound to bring more positive emotions than focusing on the negative things. However, more than this, life satisfaction increases because we know from studies of people who start to adopt methods of reporting and expressing gratitude in their lives that they show gains in their physical and mental health (better sleep, stronger immune system, more exercise, more energy, less stressed, less depressed, more hopeful and optimistic). Also, they have more successful relationships (happier and kinder people are more likeable and they make use of opportunities to meet new people and appreciate colleagues as Greta did, rather than feeling resentful and expressing anger as Mona would do). Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading researcher in the field has shown that people who adopt an ongoing attitude of gratitude are also more creative and are more likely to bounce back in the face of adversities. Psychologists Drs. Alex Linlay and Stephen Joseph have identified the gains made by trauma victims who use Benefit Finding, including reduced post-traumatic stress in soldiers after combat and improved long-term well being for people suffering serious illnesses.

The saying that ‘you don’t know what you have until it’s gone’ holds more than just a kernel of truth. How many of us realise a little late. When we see new mums stressing over the house being untidy, teenagers getting distraught over romantic partners and people falling out with members of their family, it is important to feel compassion for their anxieties and hassles, because we all have those sometimes. Yet finding a way to help others see that amongst some of the rough bumps in life it is important to find time to savour precious moments that will go by unnoticed if we don’t deliberately step back to smell the roses and be grateful for the wonderful people we have in our lives and the amazing capacity we have to walk, talk and breathe.

Learning to cultivate an attitude of gratitude may take time for people whose thinking habits are negative ones. Contact Positive Minds Alliance to find out how you can break those habits and cultivate ways of noticing and expressing gratitude in your life. (postiveminds-alliance.com).